I fondly refer to my four legged squatters as the 'Girlies' in an attempt to kid myself that they are sweet handbag sized fur balls a la Britney and Co...in reality they are German Shepherd sized weapons of mass destruction who both weigh more than I do
I am the boss....honest ...and they willingly let me think this or it tends to have an adverse effect on their calorie intake....they are both rescue dogs ( and as such deserve some leniency as they could have been psychologically damaged at a young age whereas now they have just settled at psycho)...but I am determined to hone them into fine examples of the canine world.
In true dedication to the training tips in my numerous 'dog bibles' I remind them on a daily basis just which one of us is Alpha Bitch in our elite pack,this usually coincides with my being pinned to the wall by my shoulders by one of them as the other does the wall of death around the hall just because I picked their leads up.....
Lara is a 'proper' Shepherd as in her Dad was the same breed as her Mum but one of them must have been lower class judging by her bag lady tendencies to empty the bin out if I am ever foolish enough to forget to move it before I go out.I also have very fetching bungy ropes looped around my kitchen cupboard handles.I accept that she maybe just exerting her natural instincts to flush out any terrorists lurking in the cupboards while I'm gone but I'm not convinced she has to do it on a daily basis,surely once a week would suffice?
....that just leaves Annie...half Shepherd half Fox judging by the colour of her..my pretty redhead who has the look of butter wouldn't melt ( as opposed to Lara's come on if you think you're hard enough!)Don't be fooled..Annie can whine for Britain..whines to go out,whines to come in,whines for a cup of tea and disintegrates into Oscar winning whining when its time for walkies accompanied by aforementioned wall of death spinning rampage.
How do I cope,why do I put up with them..fair question..cos I love them warts and all..or should that be slobber,dog hair,and paw prints..and failing all else I threaten with permanent grounding,loss of treats for the rest of their naturals or leaving them tied to a tree without a Sat Nav.... none of which they take seriously...but they did negotiate 20p each for the phone box and the number for Dogs Trust just in case...
to be continued...
